Does confidence issues stem from your childhood?


Do you struggle to express yourself? Are you quiet during meetings and conflicts? You may be struggling with trust issues. This article explores how trust issues begin and their impact. This will be an eye opener to help resolve self-esteem issues.


What is trust?

Confidence is believing in your own abilities, views, and worth. The right amount of confidence helps you keep your head up, but your feet firmly on the ground. Confident individuals trust themselves to achieve great things. They approach any situation boldly. They rely less on others to reassure them. These individuals look at their lives in terms of growth and improvement.

Low trust signals

Low confidence usually stems from low self-esteem. While it’s normal to have some of these signs from time to time, especially when encountering new life events, individuals who have low confidence have them more often. Here are some signs that indicate trust issues.

1. self-doubt: If you constantly doubt your ideas and opinions, you may be having trust issues. Not feeling secure about your choices and points of view causes you to guard yourself more often.

two. Negative thoughts: Negative perception and self-devaluation for thinking too much, imagining the worst outcomes. Take on negative comments from others.

3. Indecision: Poor decision-making skills and depending on other people to help you make any decision.

4. Afraid to fail: In an attempt to be good enough, performing tasks in which they believe they are competent. The fear of making mistakes can show up through procrastination, avoiding challenging jobs, avoiding taking initiative, etc.

5. Comparation: Comparing yourself with others on different parameters like career growth, money, friends, knowledge, etc.

6. Minimizing strengths: These individuals minimize their achievements and strengths. It is also difficult for them to accept praise and praise.

Can you identify with these signs? Click here to speak with a psychologist

Is trust linked to childhood experiences?

The root cause of trust lies in genetics and the environment you were raised in. If your parents struggled with trust issues, chances are you will too. The ways in which parents and/or caregivers are brought up determine how the child builds his idea of ​​himself. Overly involved and neglectful parents play a key role in a child’s self-esteem. Harsh and rigorous parenting conditions a child to believe that they are not good enough. Whenever a child tries to do something, if the response is critical and harmful, the child claims that he is not capable. If a child encounters failure and is treated as unacceptable, the child is being conditioned to believe that failure and mistakes are unfavorable.

The environment plays an important role when it comes to trust concerns. A child growing up in a place where there is constant comparison, value based solely on achievement begins to question his worth. A highly competitive environment can lead a child to focus more on challenges rather than feeling proud of where they are now.

Peers play an important role in helping us determine an understanding of ourselves. Children form their perception of themselves not only by what their parents, caregivers and teachers tell them, but also by their friends and peers. If a child is rejected by others, ridiculed, marginalized, trust issues arise. The child either struggles to fit in with other peers or gives up during this process. They can also raise identity issues in a child, especially during adolescence.

Traumatic events can lead to lower confidence levels. Traumatic events include encountering a loss, sick caregiver, abuse and harassment, etc. These incidents affect a person’s self-esteem and decrease confidence mainly.

Media and societal standards can lead to trust issues. Unrealistic body image, career and life expectancy can all put a lot of pressure. These unrealistic standards cause individuals to devalue and harm themselves.

How to increase your confidence?

Can you improve your confidence level as you keep growing? Yes, definitely! Our brain is plastic, that means we can unlearn and relearn anything. You can train yourself to start focusing on your positive and working with your conditioned critical voice. Here are some ways to start your confidence-building journey.

  1. Consciousness Catch yourself whenever you encounter negative self-doubt thoughts. If you’re struggling with procrastination, think about it stemming from your fear of failing or making a mistake.
  2. positive self-talk Retrain your brain to focus on the positive aspects of the situation and yourself. Daily affirmations, counting your strengths trains your brain to focus on the favorable ones.
  3. celebrate small victories Reward yourself for small wins. Classical Conditioning in Psychology speaks volumes about behavior that can be conditioned with appropriate rewards. And this has been a legitimate tool for boosting self-esteem. It’s crucial to set goals and milestones on your self-esteem journey and reward yourself from time to time.
  4. Draw Boundaries: Learning to say “no” it can be quite challenging for people with low self-esteem. But it’s important to have solid boundaries to feel confident about taking on any daunting task.
  5. Make a competency mapping: Take assessments to test your key areas of expertise and aptitudes, and choose your career after consulting a professional. This will help you to revive your self-esteem from the start.
  6. Cross-check your beliefs and principles: Studies have shown that people with low self-esteem often struggle to correlate what they believe and what they need to act on. Drawing thought bubbles and labeling these emotions can help clarify which goal needs to be prioritized.
  7. Challenge your limiting beliefs: listening to your critical inner voice will help address unresolved/unmet critical incidents from past experiences.
  8. Daily: using diary prompts like: I feel low on confidence when…” how I feel when I feel down…. Etc can help address recurring patterns of negative beliefs.
  9. Talk to a professional: It is always advisable to speak to a professional and equip yourself with the right set of tools to deal with everyday stressors and challenges.


Low self-esteem is a classic example of a tense childhood experience, it may be due to the adopted body parenting style and constant comparison with their peers at the gym. This, in turn, accompanies the child as he grows and is explicit during the onset of puberty. It is important to address this as soon as you recognize the signs of low self-esteem, otherwise it can be quite detrimental to the personality type you will adopt and will have a profound impact on your relationships and career choice.

common questions

Q. Do trust issues affect someone’s personal life?

Trust issues affect a person’s overall sense of self as they make them believe they may not be able to. In personal life, trust issues prevent you from expressing your thoughts and ideas clearly, confronting others, making independent decisions, and questioning your self-esteem. These can cause anxiety and depression as well.

Q. How do you confidently come out when surrounded by critical people??

Surrounded by critical individuals, it can be difficult to maintain your confidence at all times. But it is not impossible to do so. Setting boundaries, speaking assertively when criticized are some ways to defend yourself and put limits on what you receive from others. Working with a therapist will help maintain your progress in these areas.

Q. Is it possible to rebuild your inner world to increase your self-esteem?

And yes. We have the ability to change our narratives that limit us. By challenging beliefs that serve no purpose, supporting and nurturing yourself, you will be able to increase your self-esteem.

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